The discussion came up this week, as to why a person should NOT convert to Judaism. Overwhelmed, a prospective convert was looking for reasons to turn back, and asking who SHOULD convert. For now, I will answer the first question.
(1.)You will terrify people who love you. Xtian family and friends will spend the rest of their lives trying to persuade you back into the fold and to “pray” you out of the fires of hell. As bnai Noah, it is much easier to fly under the radar, to live your life and to let others live theirs. While the occasional confrontation may be inevitable, the odds for fractured relationships over religious beliefs rise dramatically upon conversion to Judaism.
(2.)Unless you work from home or have a skill that allows you to earn a living primarily within the Jewish community, and unless you are a social recluse, you will spend a lot of awkward moments devising ways to refrain from shaking hands with the opposite sex, or explaining your reluctance. This hampers both social and business relations.
(3.)You may find it difficult to work for large corporations unless you are well established and/or have unusually cordial and influential relationships with supervisors and corporate power brokers. Even working for smaller companies may involve discussions and arguments ad nauseum about the number of Jewish holidays on which you are prohibited from working.
(4.)If your family relationships and your longtime friendships are not troubled enough, wait until you tell family and friends that you can’t eat in their home unless you bring your own food and utensils, and a place mat or other barrier to keep your meal untainted from their treif table! And unless you live in an area where kosher restaurants are conveniently located, forget business lunches with clients and coworkers.
(5.)You will not be able to attend the weddings and funerals of loved ones if the services are conducted in a church or other non-Jewish religious building. And if they are held in secular locations you will not be able to hug or comfort loved ones of the opposite sex unless they are immediate family members, (siblings, parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren.)
(6.)You may not be able to live near family or work, or in a neighborhood that is affordable. You will need to live within walking distance of your shul, in order to be able to fulfill the mitzvah of being part of a minyan on Shabbos (if you are male), and to be part of a Jewish community. This can sometimes come at great emotional and financial sacrifice and should not be taken lightly.
(7.)There are many reasons not to convert to Judaism. The most important reason is because it is not necessary to be Jewish in order to live a Torah observant life and to bring godliness into the world. The message of Torah was given to Adam long before the birth of the Jewish nation. Hashem saved the world and promised never to destroy it, in the merit of a righteous gentile, Noah and his family. In many ways, Bnai Noah can deliver the message of Torah much more efficiently than the Jewish people, by their ability to live their faith every day, while interacting with other gentiles in social, family and work situations. Better to explore and appreciate what Hashem has available to you now, than to struggle on a path that may not be for you. Better to learn the 7 Laws of Noah, to apply them, to appreciate their beauty, and to share them with the world. If later it becomes obvious that Hashem has another assignment for you, you won’t need to ask why a person should or should not convert to Judaism.
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3 comments:
Wow, I think this is a great, and important post. However I was thinking (by the title) that the listed items would be of a different nature. Those issues listed are more like the difficulties you will encounter by taking on the responsibilities of being a shomer mitzvot Jew, IMHO. When I saw "reasons not to convert" I was thinking of things more like, because of a significant other, because you are looking to be accepted and embraced, because you think that by becoming Jewish, you will obtain salvation...things like that.
I can relate to everything you listed. However, a lot of that was easier to overcome than I had previously thought. I also have many BTs as friends and they list those same reasons for the delay and difficulties encountered when becoming religious. But they still got there. Again, don't take this in the way where I am saying these issues are trivial...they are not. But everything sort of works itself out, with G-d's help.
Shabbat Shalom
Thank you for your response. I totally agree with you on both counts. If Judaism is truly your path, all of these issues are quite manageable. I had in mind a person who is just beginning to explore the idea of converting.
I met a woman last year who enthusiastically proclaimed her intention to convert. When she learned that the process could take years, and that a Jewish life was lived minute to minute, everyday,- she suddenly lost interest. Better to know these things in the beginning.
I also agree that the journey of a BT parallels that of a convert in many ways. The biggest difference is that for a convert, the decision to take on any given mitzvah is made before going before a Bais Din, (Jewish Court) and is part of the deal. We commit to take on even an unknown mitzvah as soon as we learn of it, and we commit to studying in part for that purpose.
A BT on the other hand, can make his way back mitzvah by mitzvah. Sometimes that goes slowly, sometimes not so slowly. A BT can decide to forego cheeseburgers for a week and see how it goes. For a convert, this must not be a question once the conversion is complete.
Yes, there are deeper reasons for not converting, but a person who is at that point should certainly have explored the larger issues of what it means to be Jewish.
And as you said, with G-d's help, things work out the way they are supposed to!
Shavuah tov
I have many friends who were Bnei Noach, and some who still are, and some who converted.
Throughout the years I have been privileged to watch their struggles, and I have empathized with them and continue to do so as I am in part responsible as their mentor.
They have become my "spiritual family/children" and no matter where HaShem takes us, it is a hard journey in the flesh dealing with family, friends, community, etc., but it is very rewarding in terms of ones own inner peace as they let the Light in. The one true G-d, the G-d of Abraham, Issac and Jacob!
I would just caution you that it is not an easy road especially in these times of the Messianic Age.
You are not alone, more and more Gers (righteous gentiles) are beginning to see the Light, and are questionning and know that they are part of prophecy!
I wish you all the very best.
Chazak! Chazak!
I love you, Chaya Sara
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